Auction Articles

Penis in a box for a buck

By: Kathleen Johson

North American Indian Phallus

It was just a small simple down home country auction on a very rainy day in Southern Illinois at Anna. The folks were crowded around old farm wagons covered with a lifetime of simple treasures in tattered cardboard boxes with dubious intrinsic value. The bidding was erratic, the crowd just as busy gossiping as they were paying mind to who was bidding on what, and stories were being relayed, in between, of the deceased former owner. The house was to be offered later. Not much of a house at that - it was out of the glorious former coal mining era where the men worked hard to provide a simple two bedroom house and a lean-to for a garage and shop. He had paid more attention to wandering the hills nearby collecting rocks than he had to maintenance of the homestead. But we all have our priorities.

It was towards the end of the auction. It was just a box of rocks, some shattered, some muddy, all wet by now as it had poured with rain in the interim. I knew there were a few scrapers, an adz or two, some arrowheads but mostly chipped and broken - all the rocks were of mixed origin but mostly of rock from the surrounding area. So I bid a buck. No one else seemed interested so the auctioneer shoved the box rather unceremoniously across the wagon in my direction. I thru in the bigger "rocks" I had systematically fished out of several other boxes I had purchased and went about the business of keeping up with the chatter, auction prices, and the general camaraderie you find at these events in this part of the country. It was no big "deal", it was just a box of rocks for a buck or two, or maybe three all told.

I wandered home with my treasure trove. The Elks Tooth was the best buy of the day, else it was a mixed bag on dollar boxes and a little Akro Agate (my one weakness). Not that anyone else knew what the Akro Agate was as it was the a few of the lesser known clear pieces done in brilliant glass. But I digress.

The box, yes the box. I left unpacking the box of rocks till last and was idly reaching in and examine the pieces and answering email at the same time all the while balancing Rhubarb, the cat, on my lap. He was mildly interested in the rocks, more interested in getting scratched, and I was focused on the emails and wondering if I might not just spread the rocks in the rock garden. That was, until, I came to the last piece in the bottom of the box. I almost fell over when I pulled it out. Rhubarb was unceremonious dumped to the floor and I was scrambling for a magnifying glass in my back pocket. Yes, it was what it appeared to be. A Phallus - very rare in the Indian heritage in North America. I personally knew of one found in the caves in Kentucky south of here. In fact, I had seen a picture of it. But in all my reading I only knew of less than a half dozen.

Click on picture to see in full size
The experts put it under the big scope
The anthropologist I called at Southern Illinois University was most definitely bored with my phone call but agreed to meet with me. They have a department set up here that is just for managing and working on local excavations, digs and local artifacts. The Department Head met me in the hall as I approached his office. I introduced myself and handed him the piece wrapped in crumpled newspaper. Immediately he yelled down the hall for 'so and so' to come out and look at this and they both got into a deep discussion and the decision to take it down to the big microscope on the floor below.
All but two pieces of rock in the box were identified as coming from Union County, Illinois. The sculptured phallus was identified as a natural occurring rock that had been significantly altered to appear as a phallus and that the work was probably done at the same time as the other artifacts in the box. The phallus showed no recent history of tampering since the original artist put his artistic skills and imagination to work. I did personally examine the piece under a high power microscope at the college and was able to see first hand, for myself, the striations left from work done on the piece all those thonds of years ago.

So there it is and it surely is better than a grilled cheese sandwich. This is real, it sets most who see it to giggling - I have no idea why. Its a very everyday part of the male human anatomy. But the thought that someone, all those thonds of years ago, saw it and worked on it as a piece of art is just remarkable, that’s all I can say, its just very remarkable.

So there it is, a penis in a box for a buck. You just never know about auctions do you? And what am I going to do with it. I have no clue. Its an eithical problem - to sell or not to sell. Its not that Indian artifacts are never sold. Its just that sometimes it sets off a politcal firestorm. In the meantime - it sits here and I enjoy its artistic value.

About the author:

Kathleen Johnson founded the Yahoo Group Appraisals and Expert Help group for assisting people with their antique appraisals and merchandising questions several years ago, and she still offers those services today. Kathleen is also under contract to Primedia Inc to Moderate the Allexperts Board at About.inc. For many years she worked as a registered expert on Yahoo Experts, Keen, AskMe and Allexperts. Kathleen continues to write articles on online facilitation but is currently working full time on the iCell.biz auction platform as it goes thru Beta testing.

AUCTION